“The Coffee or The Cup”
The countdown to college is nearing a dramatic conclusion with the approach of the May 1 Candidates’ Reply Date—the date by which admitted students make their enrollment intentions known. For high school seniors it’s almost over. Despite months, if not years, of contemplating the possibilities, though, the final choice of a college remains elusive for many. For some, arriving at a choice is a matter of reconciling practical matters such as cost and distance. Others, however, will go “down to the wire” trying to figure out which of their available options is the best.
If you are familiar with my student-centered orientation to college planning, you will know what is coming next: The definition of “best” should reflect less the name, reputation and ranking of an institution and more the qualities of an educational experience that fit you best.
Not long ago, my wife shared the following story with me. As is the case with so many parables, the author of this one is also unknown—at least to me. And, while its message may speak to each us, I was struck by its relevance to young people as they contemplate their educational futures. You may have come across this story before, but I hope you will read it again within the context of the choice of a college.
“A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life. Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups—porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite—telling them to help themselves to the coffee.
When each of his former students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said: “If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In most cases it is just more expensive and, in some cases, even hides what we drink.
What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups… And then you began eyeing each other’s cups. Now consider this: ‘Life’ is the coffee. The jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain ‘Life,’ and the type of cup we have does not define, nor change the quality of life we live. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee. The happiest people don’t have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.”
Wherever you are in your journey toward college, be sure to keep the “coffee” in mind as you think about what is best for you. After all, you are consuming the experience, not the place. If you become too focused on the “cup” you will lose sight of the factors that define the quality of your life. Be true to yourself. As you work on your own “brew,” focus on your priorities—the factors that have guided you through your college search—and concentrate on identifying the best fit. Choose well and make the best of your experience. Enjoy the coffee!
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