“Want to Get Away?” (Part Four of Six)
Do you ever feel the urge to shout, "I need to get out of here!" And "here" is wherever you are at the moment—home, school, community. As in the situations depicted in the airline commercial, you find that just about anywhere else would be a good place to be. It’s a common teenage affliction. The older you get the more claustrophobic your world becomes—you’re ready for a new look, a change of scenery. Right about now, college seems like an inviting destination.
As eager as you might be to get up and go, though, I suspect there is a quiet voice inside you that says something like, “I’m not sure I want to go. They feed me and let me drive their car. Besides, my friends are right around the corner. I actually have a good life here. Do I really have to leave?”
The answer is “yes.” At some point you will need to find a change of address. So, if that place will be a college, why not find one that feels like home to you—a place that includes people with shared values and interests, a place where people will encourage you on bad days and celebrate with you the good days? Why not find a place you can comfortably embrace?
When you think about it, the best college fit will be a place that offers a community in which you will feel comfortable. It will be a place where you won’t be distracted by worries about how you fit in. You won’t worry about what people think about you—how you talk, what you say, how you dress or what you think. You won’t have to prove yourself to anyone. Instead, you can relax and focus on getting the most out of your college experience and that includes, by the way, your academic work. There is a strong correlation between one’s comfort level in college—and one’s grade point average!
So, how do you find such a place? It’s hard to search the Internet for such a fit. Chat room conversations can be deceptive, as they tend to reflect only the opinions of those who participate. And the images you are shown on videos and in viewbooks are rarely unattractive.
As a result, you will need to do some original research. Specifically, you need to experience college campuses and, in the process, be sensitive to your “gut” reactions. Quite often when students believe they’ve found the college of their dreams, they’re hard-pressed to explain the attraction, except to say, “It’s a gut feeling. It feels right—like I would be at home.” As you think about living apart from the comforts of home, finding your niche is vitally important so let your gut go to work for you.
What gut feeling do you hope to find as you look at colleges? Look for students who come from similar backgrounds—who share your interests and your loyalties. While they shouldn’t be exact clones of you, it’s a good sign if they are people from whom you can learn and around whom you can grow personally. In all likelihood, your gut will tell you when you have found people you’d like to get to know better.
Moreover, what does your gut tell you about a college’s inclination to stretch and support you through various aspects of your college experience? Do you sense that there are people in a given environment who will encourage and support you in your journey of self-discovery? Based on your experience on college campuses, where do you see evidence that interaction with others will help broaden your perspective—get you to take risks and think outside of the box periodically? What does your gut tell you about how an environment will respond if you struggle? Will anyone know? Will anyone care?
The answers to these questions will help define the ideal college community for you. At a time in your life when you may be aching to get away and have a different experience, it’s vital that you “land” well when you get to college. Be careful not to react impulsively, then, as you consider your college “home away from home.” Be sure to test your reactions. Until you can experience such a place first hand and come away with a really strong, positive “gut feeling,” that feeling only exists in your imagination. Be prepared to visit campuses—and revisit and revise your list—as your college search continues until one day you know—it feels like home!
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